Happy Birthday

Today is a very special day in our household. My oldest granddaughter turns 7 today. She is the spunkiest, happiest, sweetest little spit fire. I love it when she looks at me and says

“Grandma, seriously”. She absolutely melts my heart.

Whenever one of the kids and grandkids have a birthday or celebration, Cory is always heavily on my mind. Cory loved birthday’s. He loved his birthday, his brother and sister’s birthday, Kaleb’s birthday and even mine. Countless birthday I would wake up to surprise notes by the coffee pot, homemade gifts, and even my car decorated. For his birthday, I always received a very detailed list, usually with a web link to order it. But, he never wanted for much. He was always afraid of me spending money I didn’t have. With a twinkle in his eye, he would say “Just your love, mom”. He knew there would always be that plus a whole lot more.

Cory’s last birthday, we bought him a pair of diamond earrings. He was so surprised and loved them. He never took them out. He knew affording them wasn’t easy which to Cory made them even more special. It was during Cory’s funeral that I noticed one of them earrings were missing. My heart sank. I just knew Cory was going to haunt me because he didn’t have them both.

After his funeral, I went home and scoured the house, wondering where it could be. Then I remembered, my very efficient sister (Thank you, Casey) had cleaned my house during that time when I could barely put one foot in front of another. Well, I found that earring…. In the vacuum. I think back now and wonder if this was a piece of Cory, he left me that day. Something he knew I could keep close to me when I needed it the most.

When Kaleb was born Cory was so proud to be an uncle. He wanted to give that kid the world. He had picked out the battery operated car, bicycle and countless other items he wanted to give Kaleb on his birthday. I just couldn’t figure out how to mail them to Australia after he moved. Many of nights, during one of our CPT sessions Cory and I would talk. We talked about how he was feeling, how his thoughts were. (23 years of bonding during our daily “beatings”). Cory knew his time was limited. He was starting to have a lot of pain, quality of life was declining and he was needing oxygen more often. He stopped me in the middle of his CPT session and very clearly said “I have to keep fighting mom, I have to fight when I have no fight. I was ready to give up and then Kaleb was born. I have to fight for him”. That look in his eyes that day both melted and broke my heart that day. If I could have done anything in this world to trade places with him that day, I would have.

Cory celebrated life. He loved life, even life with CF

Today Cory would have been the proudest uncle celebrating Paityn. While my heart breaks that he never was given the opportunity to meet her, I know that there is a piece of Cory that lives within Paityn and that will carry with her always.

If you have made it this far and happen to see Paityn…Give her the big birthday hugs that her “Uncle Cory “would be giving her right now